Going Veggie at a Jewish Wedding

Unless the bride or groom is a card carrying tree hugging vegan, a Jewish wedding will almost certainly involve meat being served for the main course. This is a long standing tradition based going all the way back to the Talmud declaring that there is no simcha (joy) without meat and wine. People choose to see this as an excuse for a good boozy meal, rather than a reference to the temple service (which preceded the advent of tofu burgers and a pint of old peculiar). Personally, I haven't eaten meat since kindergarten, and the thought of gefilte fish or wild alaskan pollock goujons doesn't greatly appeal. Milk is verboten at a meat meal, and a Spanish omelette feels more roadside café brunch than a nuptial repast. As a result, opting for something veggie or vegan is the default choice. One cannot begrudge carnivores their Angus steak or chicken thighs. After all, one should respect the will of the majority (no brexit jokes here). I do, however, think that some caterers lack imagination when they offer the likes of a pepper impregnated with rice as an alternative to the beef wellington. Sweet potato and black bean veggie burgers, or curried coconut quinoa and greens with roasted cauliflower don't seem to register on the hamishe Richter scale.


Another possible pitfall of taking a meat sabbatical is the buffet format where tables are summoned one by one to fill their plates. This is a sticky wicket at any kosher do, particularly when some options are under-catered (i.e. not vastly over-catered). At a rather swish west end wedding quite a few moons ago, by the time my table was called, the carnivores had taken such a shine to the unsegregated vegan offering that it had all gone. When I pointed this out to the catering staff, the legendary Spanish omelette embellished with a garnish of rocket and apologies was proffered as a guilt offering.

Desserts are another matter. Once the main course is cleared and the obligatory nth round of dancing has finished, a plethora of delights usually appear with a flourish, and occasionally with sparklers. These include magnificent fruits stations, assorted danish, and veritable hillocks of non-dairy profiteroles. No creative effort is spared by the artisan's hand and fertile imagination.

Given the quantity of nibbles at most wedding receptions, and more pressing problems on our blue planet, it isn't a big deal missing a centrepiece main course. I remember once going to a conference in Spain, and anyone who did not eat meat held up a cardboard carrot. At least Jewish caterers are more discreet.