Aliens, Death Stars and Feminism. Let's Rock!

NASA missions to the planets and their moons are something special. News programs are full of conflict and disaster, and odd glimpses of other worlds is an uplifting experience. The New Horizons craft sent back the first ever close up pictures of Pluto in 2015, knocking poor old Cecil the Lion (RIP) off the front pages. Cassini's holiday snaps from Saturn were this year's treat.   

Curiosity landed on Mars just over 5 years ago. Like any self respecting robot, it has its own Facebook page and Twitter feed. It spends a lot of time wandering around and looking at rocks. Some people seem to sit at home looking at Curiosity's pictures all day. They are not mere rock watchers, but have a more glamorous sobriquet: Alien Hunters. The ultimate accolade seems to be an anonymous credit in the Daily Mail and lots of cranky blogs following up with stories of NASA conspiracies.

     

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-4627804/Mysterious-rock-circle-spotted-Mars.html

As well as the Mars Stonehenge, the lizard, the floating spoon, and the squirrel have been spotted. I have never seen Mother Teresa in my morning toast, but the water stains at Marble Arch tube (eastbound platform) used to look like Jim Morrison. Guys, they are rocks.

 

There is a big problem with finding alien life on Mars, or anywhere else. Every country on Earth is bound by the Outer Space Treaty. One cannot send a robot or human close to a water source for fear of contaminating it with life from Earth. This means missions only go to places that are unlikely to sustain anything living. No surprise NASA has drawn a blank on little green persons.

The Cassini craft greatly advanced our knowledge of Saturn and its moons. Saturn's biggest moon, Titan, is bigger than Earth's civil partner. It has a dense atmosphere, with methane seas and rain. NASA could not make Cassini's final swan dive onto Titan because it might introduce microbes which then go forth and multiply. Perhaps they envisioned that Elon Musk the 38th's hologram might one day run excursions to view the mutant Japanese knotweed. At  minus 179 degrees centigrade, even brass monkeys might give that a miss.

The moon that has sent the Alien twitchers into overdrive is Iapetus, even though its name suggests someone who has been expelled from Eton. Iapetus was discovered by Giovanni Domenico Cassini way back in 1671 (but named later). Cassini noticed that it was much brighter on the west side of its orbit round Saturn than the East side. He rightly concluded that one side was lighter than the other.

Iapetus is shaped like a giant walnut with a mountain range round its middle. If it is an Alien Death Star, then the owners appear to have run out of intergalactic groats to pay the welders and spray painters. Or maybe it is simply art deco. Yet again, the ever dependable Daily Mail joined the hysteria to give this story legs. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-3585599/Could-Saturn-s-moon-alien-Death-Star-UFO-hunters-claim-Iapetus-massive-alien-base-built-scratch-oddest-claim-yet.html 

But, you ask yourself, why is Iapetus dark on one side? Are aliens really among us? The short answer seems to be another moon called Phoebe who is calling the shots. All the other 60 plus moons of Saturn orbit anti-clockwise. Phoebe, she  does her own thing. She orbits clockwise and is surrounded by her own clockwise ring. A very sparse ring, but enough to deposit occasional little specks on Iapetus over millions of years. Poor Iapetus is doomed to have his face blacked for near eternity as he orbits through Phoebe's ring. So how come Phoebe is not yet a feminist icon?

If you want to see a moon that looks like a death star, then Mimas is your man. Yes, he is the offspring of Gaia, born from the blood of the castrated Uranus. But sadly, even for hardened alien hunters, Mimas is simply a cute rock with a dimple. NASA has kindly produced a nice photo to cheer up the hunters.